Have you seen these "malformed hierarchies of gifts" expressed differently in different cultural contexts?--Spiritual Gifts FAQs

[Note: This is part of an ongoing conversation with a thoughtful leader in a client church who participated in the two-part Your Unique Design spiritual gifts classes with other leaders.]

  

Have you seen these "malformed hierarchies of gifts" expressed differently in different cultural contexts? I think we all know that in broad history and church denomination, patriarchal influence is insidious, pervasive, oft-underestimated. As a male, I recognize that and also confess the ways that I can't assume to even accurately perceive the dynamics at play here. I think this topic is hard because it also borders on complementarian vs egalitarian... the case of a co-pastorship between a husband and wife, for example. Where the giftings and ministry focus of one may overshadow the other (in public perception, at least!). So again, not really a direct question that I'm looking for, just more musing.

 

My additional comment is a story I wanted to tell, from my own family dynamic   Where we have a strong matriarchal presence in our Chinese family. Out of 5 siblings, I have 4 aunts and 1 uncle. The privileged uncle "son" grew up with a medical condition that precluded him from doing a lot of housework, etc. They often took care of him and prioritized him in the family. Cascading down, I had a female cousin recently comment to me that I have so much "son privilege" that I don't even see. The women in the family are expected to do the hard work of planning, gathering family, initiating reunions, or birthday gifts, or celebrations, etc. They are almost obligated. Or everyone in the family assumes they will be the ones to take the lead. So here's my own personal dilemma: I know I don't have the gift of Administration (I'm bad with details. I like big-picture). Yet I wonder if it is a subliminal privilege that I've been exercising, to excuse myself from certain "family duties," on the basis that "others (mosty female) have greater interest and greater skill in the organization, planning, administration tasks.

 

How this ties back into the larger question... I guess, is the cultural / empirical experience of having a lot of men be Pastors/Leaders/Teachers and a lot of women be Administrators / Helps / Hospitality / "Supporters/Leads" on hidden ministries. It just seems like churches are built on the latter. And I wonder how to be part of the solution and not the problem…I am also keen on self-growth and greater maturity. I find that in the specific context that I'm in (youth ministry, as part of a "core team" under a paid staff leader, with about a dozen committed volunteers), I tend to lean towards what I think are my giftings and strengths (teaching, mentoring... perhaps discernment, some decision-making, some leadership).

 

I know that my weaknesses and things that drain me are administrative tasks, sending out emails, planning the itinerary / timeline of events, making sure we have food / decorations, etc. So I would love to say, "it makes more sense as a team to delegate or allow those with the spiritual giftings (or motivation/joy/energy) of hospitality, helps, administration to take lead on those details." But given the context I shared above, I'm starting to wonder if becomes an easy excuse to not "do the dirty work." Of course I'll still do it if asked or pushed to it, but I've come across a lot of situations where as a group, we're waiting for someone to "volunteer" or "feel led to." And oftentimes, I notice it is the women in our team who volunteer (and have historically done a LOT of that). I don't hesitate to put myself forward for teaching opportunities, or public-facing leadership/directive roles, but again, I just want to grow in my own self-awareness and maturity, but also to support and build up healthy dynamics for the whole group.

 

My response:

The short answer is “yes”.

 

In particular, in Asian, African American, and Latina/o churches or women with whom I’ve worked in those contexts affirms your assessment of those patriarchal dynamics/influences. The levels of frustration this continues to produce in church staff women who are automatically expected to lead Women’s Ministry or Children’s Ministry only or only serve in support positions are high. I’ve had a number of female pastors say to me in recent months that they are exhausted “cleaning up after” the male pastor/s who have the corner offices and the “senior” designation but who exhibit no Administration/Leadership/Wisdom gifts but who seem threatened by the female’s expression of just those gifts. I cannot tell you how often, across denominations, this scenario continues to play out.

 

That said, I know of a more-recent church-plant where they called a husband-and-wife team and the church has embraced her leadership and up-front/teaching gifts and his support and behind-the-scenes gifts. But this is rare in my experience.

 

Thank you for sharing your own story. Grappling with one’s own issues of privilege, however they appear, is a tough but important journey. Also wrestling with the cultural things we’ve lived with our entire lives—and sorting out which we keep and where we need to be catalysts for change—is valuable self- and other-awareness. There may be instances where you can clearly see that a woman in your family feels obligated by custom to do something that’s expected of her gender but isn’t in her areas of gifting or calling or passion. Praying through an opportunity to relieve her of this duty in order to honor and free her from these expectations might be a next step for you.

 

I also think the fact that women were not allowed in seminaries or colleges or universities or leadership positions in denominations or churches for millenia has played a huge role. There was truly no seat at the table for them. So, our definition of Pastors/Leaders/Teachers in the church took on the shape of “only men” can do this job. We’re still getting used to this—as ministries seem to be lagging behind our nation’s cultural and societal shifts in this arena among others.

 

In recent months, I’ve noted an unusually high incidence of testing for Exhortation in the African American churches in the South using GodGiftsYou.com (as compared with the rest of the overall population which includes international entries). And, oddly, the women in these churches, some of whom I am mentoring longer-term, raise the issues of not being seen, not being affirmed (exhorted!), being relegated to serving roles even when their express call and their obvious gifts are in Leadership, Teaching, Prophecy, and the like. So, even with an abundance of Exhortation, somehow the human side of our cultures still pushes against the Kingdom of God that is breaking in.

 

Could it be, based on women’s struggle in many contexts and cultures and countries to be seen, heard, valued, and invited to make a significant contribution in our churches (and elsewhere), that the Lord has abundantly gifted them in some of the support roles…for now…as there is or has been little else available to them?

 

I would love to clone you—would that all people desire to be “part of the solution and not the problem”!  I also would love if everyone was as committed (“keen”) on self-growth and greater maturity and accountability as you. This too is a way you can influence for good.

 

I do think that leaning towards our gifts and strengths and passions is a good thing for most of what we commit to. Not that God makes things easy but using how He’s wired us and what He’s given us is good stewardship (and likely less frustrating for others). However, if you think about a family or organization—there are always things that aren’t fun or necessarily interesting to do, but someone has to do them (take out the trash, wash the dishes, mow the lawn, set up/take down the chairs, shovel the snow, etc.). Asking yourself if there is a way you can contribute to doing a few of these supportive “family chores” might help you see with new eyes how to help relieve the load for another. The caution here is to not take these things on out of guilt and to not fill your plate with only these things.        

 

I know it might sound odd, but there are actually people who like administrating, emailing, planning, calendaring, event-planning, etc. It might, in fact, make perfect sense as a team to delegate to those with those gifts and desires/skills. However, I also know those people and they get pretty annoyed at being taken for granted or having things change last-minute with no explanation. You and other leaders can help relieve this type of frustration by showing up a few minutes early/staying a few minutes late to help out, thanking personally and specifically and publicly, and, perhaps most importantly, asking yourselves the question—have I inadvertently relegated someone to this task who belongs in a different place and/or am I ducking something that the Lord would have me do?

 

And, all of this begs the question—are we each, especially leaders and shepherds, noticing and calling out leadership gifts in women as well as men…and actively mentoring them to that end? We have lost ground here in the church when men in leadership have refused to mentor women (the Billy Graham “rule”) and/or when churches have not made space for women to express gifts other than Helps, Hospitality, Intercession, and Mercy.

 

As I said earlier, your voice and behavior can be important in helping change entrenched attitudes and practices--sometimes in ways that female voices are not heard/amplified, less acknowledged, or where we’ve labeled the input as aggressive or strident. Healthy ministry teams and group dynamics is an important commitment for every leader—especially in the church. The Body of Christ flourishes when each and every disciple is truly seen, valued, and rightly engaged.

 

As leaders, I believe we need to pray in earnest to become more aware of our own blind spots or areas of pride/stubbornness and ask the Lord to help us see and be willing to go where He calls, maybe especially in these seemingly “little” things as we model humble leadership and value unsung service.

 

I close with these thoughts: How in the world did Jesus—God Himself—give up all of His privilege to come to us? In Philippians 2 (entitled “Imitating Christ’s Humility” in my NIV), Paul isn’t talking directly about spiritual gifts, but I find it intriguing that he begins by exhorting those in the church to be loving, unified, Spirit-led—also echoed in spiritual gifts passages (1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12). In verse 3 we see: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

 

Philippians 2 continues in verse 5: In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

            6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature  of a servant, being made in human likeness.

8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—

        even death on a cross!

            9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,

10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

 

AMEN.

 I’m deeply grateful for your thoughtfulness and your responses and reactions. As you exhort others in your own spheres of influence and you live into and further develop your spiritual gifts, I pray that the Lord would provide you with His power, wisdom, and clarity as well as His insights into those areas where you desire to become more self- and other-aware.

Important resources:

 

 

Shirley Giles Davis, author of the God. Gifts. You. Your Unique Calling and Design workbook, Your Unique Design Class Guide, Your Unique Design Facilitator Guide, DIOS. DONES. TÚ.: Tu llamado y diseño único (Spanish Edition), and Gifts-Calling-Purpose blog, is a consultant, coach, facilitator who has worked with hundreds of faith-based organizations, nonprofit agencies, and executive leaders in a diversity of fields for four decades. She currently serves as Catalyst for Equipping at her church.

 

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